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Strictly Speaking

Strictly speaking

Week 1 “We’re going from the red carpet to the red-hot ballroom floor!!!” Enough of the understatement, Tess. Actually, how often do breakfast TV sports editors, ex-footballers and impressionists get to hang out on the red carpet? Never mind, they’re on “Strictly” now! Instant fame awaits! (I’m ignoring the weird intro bit that started with […]

Strictly speaking

Dum-da-dum-dum-dum-da-da… Oh yes! It’s time! After a long, cold, sequin-less eight months, “Strictly Come Dancing” is finally back on our screens, and other than Brucie becoming “Sir”, it was business as usual in Saturday’s launch show. Bruno made salacious suggestions, “dahling” Craig prepared his putdowns, Len opened up his box of Carry On metaphors and […]

Strictly speaking

Week 12  It’s official: “Strictly” addiction is a dangerous virus, like mad cow disease or swine flu. Do you need a ballroom flu friend? In other news, Bruce has been set loose on the glitterball with a hammer and chisel. Hope the BBC has good insurance.

Strictly speaking

Week 11 It’s the “Strictly” semi-final showdown! Our stars are dreaming of the glitterball trophy, but they get a rude awakening…the nightmare of two eliminations! Really, this is a surprise? Wasn’t anyone listening last week? I’m sure Tess mentioned the double elimination at least six times. (Amusingly, Kara sleeps with a Russian guidebook in place […]

Strictly Speaking

Strictly Speaking Week 10 Saturday “Strictly” Strikes Back with a wonderfully hammy Star Wars opening to movie night, complete with Brucie enacting the MGM lion struck down by tonsillitis. ‘Our pros’ kicked off proceedings with their film fest: Grease (Kristina, naturally, in Olivia Newton-John’s leathers and Robin rocking out as Danny), Top Gun (poser Aviators […]

Strictly speaking

Week 9  Saturday Back to television centre, and this week’s “Strictly” felt like a bit of a comedown after super-exciting home-of-ballroom-dancing Blackpool. There was a general malaise and tiredness. There were more injuries. There was a painfully drawn-out Brucie joke about Ann and Anton getting it on. I rather wanted to rush into the studio with […]

Strictly Speaking

Week 8 Just in case we were IN ANY WAY unclear, after the million-and-one references during last week’s show and the many dedicated segments on “It Takes Two”, this week “Strictly” is coming to you live from Vegas! Or, rather, Blackpool. SO easy to get those two confused. “Everyone wants to ILLUMINATE the dance floor […]

Strictly speaking

Week 7 This week is VITALLY IMPORTANT, as our “Strictly” stars are within touching distance of Mecca…or, at any rate, Blackpool. Cue tension! Arguments! Ann flapping her hands at the camera in super-disapproving fashion! Who will miss out on this sequin-tastic trip and the “99 Bottles of Beer” singalong in the minivan?

Strictly speaking

Week 6 How will they top “Strictly”’s Halloween fright night? Will this be a display to remember (remember)? And is there a seasonal pun that Tess will refuse to say? Of course not! “Let’s light the fuse and set them off!”  

Strictly speaking

Week 5 “Who’s going to give us ballroom entertainment TO DIE FOR?” That was the big question for this first-ever “Strictly” Halloween special (WOOOO!). That, and just how many spooky puns and gags would the audience be subjected to? Watch (or read) if you dare…

Strictly Speaking

Week 4 “Tangos will take off and Charlestons will flap,” thundered Tess’s voiceover. But that’s not the focus of this evening’s show. Oh no. We have teaser footage of Ann…in a harness! Has Widdy found her wings? Just when you thought “Strictly”  couldn’t get any more exciting. And it’s only week 4…

Strictly Speaking

Week 3 Week 3 of “Strictly” equals The Week To Panic, according to the opening VT, after the SHOCK of seeing someone eliminated last week (was this unexpected?). “They’ve realised this dancing malarkey is difficult,” says Tess solemnly. Cue montage of STRESSING OUT.

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