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Strictly Speaking

Strictly speaking

Week 10 Were you playing a Tess intro movie puns drinking game? I WAS! (Not really. That would render typing impossible.) Still, I think I counted 206. Anyone? Anyone? Yes, this is “Strictly” Movie Week and the Punning Police are on standby, so no funny business. (Get it, Brucie? FUNNY business. No?) Our pros kicked off […]

Strictly speaking

Week 9 I can’t lie. I spent this week’s “Strictly” sadly swaying, waving my sparkly lighter, mourning the noticeable absence of our dear departed Russell and “Flav”. Well, not literally. That would make typing rather difficult. But definitely figuratively. Figuratively, I was a beacon of sadness in north-west London. A Saturday night Zone 2 lighthouse. […]

Strictly speaking

Week 8 Ah, there’s nothing like seeing “Strictly” in the flesh, is there? Weren’t we lucky to be part of the thousands who experienced THE BIGGEST LIVE SHOW EVER! Except we weren’t. (If you’re reading this and you went to Wembley…pretend you didn’t. I’m building to a clever point.) The problem with celebrating Week 8 […]

Strictly speaking

  Week 7 Week 7 of “Strictly” and I’ve finally figured it out: Tess’s salary works on a pound-per-pun basis – hence the damp-squib (ha!) firework puns for last week’s EXPLOSIVE show and football puns KICKING OFF this week’s. Either that or she writes cracker jokes on the side.

Strictly speaking

Week 6 What a difference a week makes. In contrast to the Halloween horrors, “Strictly” Week 6 had no pesky theme, no absurd 10s and no salacious moments for the Daily Mail to get worked up about – unless you count the bizarro pro dances (more on those later) and Bruno’s increasingly overt desire for […]

Strictly speaking

Week 5 I fear “Strictly” may be having an identity crisis. In past years, fans have been able to refer to it as a distinct and (let’s face it) far superior creation to other weekend fare. It’s not purely comedic (“Let’s Dance For Comic Relief”) or slapstick variety (“Britain’s Got Talent”); it doesn’t revolve around […]

Strictly speaking

Week 4 After befuddling Broadway, it was back to ballroom basics for Week 4 of “Strictly”  – except the training VTs, which get more David Lynch each week.

Strictly speaking

Week 3 It’s only Week 3 on “Strictly” and it’s already Random New Theme Week. Now, I’m all for Random New Themes, particularly when they involve loony VTs, psychotic costuming choices and potentially disastrous props, but I’m afraid I have to begin with a mini rant entitled “Why the confused and confusing Broadway Week didn’t […]

Strictly speaking

Week 2 It’s Week 2 on “Strictly” and that can only mean one thing. It’s knockout time! (Get it, Audley?) After last week’s gentle opening, the celebs have to face the harsh reality of the ballroom world as one of them is cruelly cast out into the non-sequinned wilderness. Or something equally melodramatic. (Actually, “reality” […]

Strictly speaking

Week 1 “We’re going from the red carpet to the red-hot ballroom floor!!!” Enough of the understatement, Tess. Actually, how often do breakfast TV sports editors, ex-footballers and impressionists get to hang out on the red carpet? Never mind, they’re on “Strictly” now! Instant fame awaits! (I’m ignoring the weird intro bit that started with […]

Strictly speaking

Dum-da-dum-dum-dum-da-da… Oh yes! It’s time! After a long, cold, sequin-less eight months, “Strictly Come Dancing” is finally back on our screens, and other than Brucie becoming “Sir”, it was business as usual in Saturday’s launch show. Bruno made salacious suggestions, “dahling” Craig prepared his putdowns, Len opened up his box of Carry On metaphors and […]

Strictly speaking

Week 12  It’s official: “Strictly” addiction is a dangerous virus, like mad cow disease or swine flu. Do you need a ballroom flu friend? In other news, Bruce has been set loose on the glitterball with a hammer and chisel. Hope the BBC has good insurance.

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