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Strictly Speaking

Strictly speaking

Can you believe it? Against all odds, this Saturday teatime, light-entertainment treat involving perma-tanned celebs tangoing to Priscilla and stripping to Hot Chocolate (yes, that really happened), beloved of grannies, kids, dance fanatics and students with ironic viewing preferences alike, has survived general scepticism, format tinkering and the continued onslaught of He Who Must Not Be Named […]

Strictly speaking

Week 12 Finally, we have a “Strictly” champion! Deservedly, if somewhat predictably, amiable drummer and professional man candy Harry Judd made it a Mcdouble, following in the dance steps of other likeable British chaps (Tom Chambers, Chris Hollins, Mark Ramprakash etc.). What’s next for McFlies 3 and 4? “Countdown” and “Mastermind”? Of course, the real […]

Strictly speaking

Week 11 Can you believe it’s the “Strictly” semi-final already? Just as well – I fear for Tess’s sanity if she has to deliver any more puns. Mind you, I bet she’s now a major hit at Christmas parties, nailing every cracker joke before it’s even half uttered. (“Tinselitis!” “Low elf esteem!” “A CONFUSED SNOWFLAKE!”)

Strictly speaking

Week 10 Were you playing a Tess intro movie puns drinking game? I WAS! (Not really. That would render typing impossible.) Still, I think I counted 206. Anyone? Anyone? Yes, this is “Strictly” Movie Week and the Punning Police are on standby, so no funny business. (Get it, Brucie? FUNNY business. No?) Our pros kicked off […]

Strictly speaking

Week 9 I can’t lie. I spent this week’s “Strictly” sadly swaying, waving my sparkly lighter, mourning the noticeable absence of our dear departed Russell and “Flav”. Well, not literally. That would make typing rather difficult. But definitely figuratively. Figuratively, I was a beacon of sadness in north-west London. A Saturday night Zone 2 lighthouse. […]

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Week 8 Ah, there’s nothing like seeing “Strictly” in the flesh, is there? Weren’t we lucky to be part of the thousands who experienced THE BIGGEST LIVE SHOW EVER! Except we weren’t. (If you’re reading this and you went to Wembley…pretend you didn’t. I’m building to a clever point.) The problem with celebrating Week 8 […]

Strictly speaking

  Week 7 Week 7 of “Strictly” and I’ve finally figured it out: Tess’s salary works on a pound-per-pun basis – hence the damp-squib (ha!) firework puns for last week’s EXPLOSIVE show and football puns KICKING OFF this week’s. Either that or she writes cracker jokes on the side.

Strictly speaking

Week 6 What a difference a week makes. In contrast to the Halloween horrors, “Strictly” Week 6 had no pesky theme, no absurd 10s and no salacious moments for the Daily Mail to get worked up about – unless you count the bizarro pro dances (more on those later) and Bruno’s increasingly overt desire for […]

Strictly speaking

Week 5 I fear “Strictly” may be having an identity crisis. In past years, fans have been able to refer to it as a distinct and (let’s face it) far superior creation to other weekend fare. It’s not purely comedic (“Let’s Dance For Comic Relief”) or slapstick variety (“Britain’s Got Talent”); it doesn’t revolve around […]

Strictly speaking

Week 4 After befuddling Broadway, it was back to ballroom basics for Week 4 of “Strictly”  – except the training VTs, which get more David Lynch each week.

Strictly speaking

Week 3 It’s only Week 3 on “Strictly” and it’s already Random New Theme Week. Now, I’m all for Random New Themes, particularly when they involve loony VTs, psychotic costuming choices and potentially disastrous props, but I’m afraid I have to begin with a mini rant entitled “Why the confused and confusing Broadway Week didn’t […]

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Week 2 It’s Week 2 on “Strictly” and that can only mean one thing. It’s knockout time! (Get it, Audley?) After last week’s gentle opening, the celebs have to face the harsh reality of the ballroom world as one of them is cruelly cast out into the non-sequinned wilderness. Or something equally melodramatic. (Actually, “reality” […]

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