It’s Blackpool Week on Strictly, otherwise known as Multiple Comebacks And Rampant Score Inflation Week! For the uninitiated, the current exchange rate is about 1:1.2, meaning up here Donny would be scoring 12s and spontaneously combusting, BABY.
Week 7 We’ve reached the Strictly halfway mark, and the judges are getting tough. Well, sort of. Sometimes. Consistency is like, so hard, you guys. Particularly FOR THE MEN.
Week 6 Oh Strictly Halloween Week, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways…
Week 5 This year’s Strictly is becoming renowned for “shock” dance-offs, even though there’s nothing truly shocking about two mediocre lower-leaderboard pairs landing in the bottom. Perhaps more noteworthy is how it’s resisting the producers’ attempts at forced narratives: the hunky sportsman failed to set pulses racing, ditto the supposedly irresistible boy band member, while Judy […]
Week 4 Last week on Strictly we drank deep from the well of insanity that was a histrionic theme show combined with the terrorising presence of He Who Must Not Be Named, Baby! This week, it was the inevitable comedown. The debilitating hangover. The throbbing migraine. The constant threat of impending nausea.
I wouldn’t want to imply that the producers of Strictly have some kind of substance-abuse problem and/or are suffering a collective nervous breakdown. It’s just difficult to find another explanation for the acid-trip train wreck that was Movie Week. Or, as it shall henceforth be known, Guess The Dance Buried Under Three Layers of 1980s Bargain […]
Week 2 It’s just the second week of Strictly, and the judges have already taken leave of their senses. It’s going to be a long series. The second performance show – the one which leads to an elimination, and in which, therefore, the scoring is a matter of LIFE AND DEATH (or at least marginal […]
Week 1 Strictly is back, and it has a bold new strategy for fending off the competition: absorb it all, like some kind of light-entertainment power-ingesting cannibal. Hence the patronising Gogglebox people-watching-people-watching-telly opening and X Factor belief that logic and coherence only impede your judging panel.
It’s been a turbulent summer. Warring nations. Deadly disease. Ferocious independence debates. And, of course, a luxuriously bearded baking hipster getting a bit cross with someone from the WI. But fear not, morose nation! Strictly is back, and we can all now join together in admiration of the human body’s ability to turn, leap, shimmy […]
It was nice to see you, to see you…nice! After 11 series, Sir Bruce Forsyth has handed over the Strictly Come Dancing presenting baton (sequin-covered, naturally) to the fabulous Claudia Winkleman, she of the quick wit, monochrome wardrobe and delicately balanced fringe-to-eyeliner ratio.
The grand final The Series 11 final featured four exciting, contrasting couples and was genuinely impossible to call, making it a gripping watch through both shows. Well, apart from the recaps, the recaps of the recaps, the extended retrospective, the “J word” tales, the manufactured clips and the neverending Christmas special trailer. Really, there’s a […]
Week 12 – The semis We’re back to a lengthy show, so I’ll keep this brief. Here are my five gripes about an otherwise enjoyable semi-final…