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Strictly Speaking

Strictly Speaking week 6

Bitter experience has obliterated all possible hope for Strictly’s annual fright fest – best watched several dozen drinks in, when the more disturbing details begin to blur round the edges – but this was an abysmal show even by Halloween standards. It’s hard to know who to pity most: the dancers, stuck with the impossible challenge […]

Strictly Speaking week 5

Let me start this Strictly recap by stating that whatever pain meds Len “8s for everyone!” Goodman is on, I want some. Perhaps they would have enlivened a rather dreary mid-series outing, in which everyone seemed to be pacing themselves for the Halloween insanity to come. It wasn’t until the final three dances (otherwise known as […]

Strictly Speaking week 4

It’s almost worth having bonkers Strictly theme shows just to make us really appreciate the relative sanity of a non-theme show. Well, almost. We’re into “I keep whacking myself with a hammer because it feels so good when I stop” territory, and there was still some bludgeoning to endure this weekend. For one, ludicrous music choices […]

Strictly Speaking week 3

Ah, Strictly theme weeks. Regular readers will know I look forward to these about as much as emergency root canal surgery with a rusty saw. We reached a nadir last year with the addition of Donnie (Baby!) Osmond during Movie Week. On the upside: no Donnie. On the downside: everything else. I’ve never longed so […]

Strictly Speaking week 2

Yes, it’s that dark week of Strictly. The week when our first couple is thrown out of paradise, and also the week when at least one blogger develops crippling RSI. Still, at least 15 dances meant marginally less filler. Just time for a few Tess jokes to bomb, Claudia to inch over the pre-watershed line […]

Strictly Speaking week 1

It wouldn’t be Strictly without the epic trolling that is the scoring. Welcome back to judgement as alarmingly random as Caligula’s hiring policies. Some celebs benefited from the Week 1 Magic 8-Ball, others have cause to grumble, with particular howlers from Darcey “Year of the Man” Bussell. Those opening the shows had kinder treatment, and […]

Strictly Speaking

After seemingly decades of celebrity reveals on every BBC outlet known to man (“Now the ident hippos will announce ‘Peter Andre’ via synchronised swimming!”), Strictly has finally begun in earnest and the pairings unveiled to an eager nation. Well, ish. To address the elephantine crystal ball in the room: this wasn’t so much of a reveal […]

Strictly speaking

Week 13: The final Perhaps not a vintage year, but Strictly ended on a high with a closer than expected final, bananas returning contestants encore, and a deserving winning couple in Caroline and Pasha. It was a show noticeably light on ballroom – because nothing says telly gold like ropey Week 1 disco cha chas! […]

Strictly speaking

This was a long, long, looooong semi-final. It made War and Peace look like a Tweet. It made the Oscars look like a Saturday cartoon. Stars in distant galaxies went through entire lifespans. And still we came no closer to deciding what rumba actually is. All of which would be forgivable if Strictly had treated […]

Strictly speaking

Week 11 We love a good Strictly scandal. In a year sadly devoid of both romantic chemistry between partners (no CURSE OF STRICTLY break-ups on the horizon) and genuine drama, the producers finally managed to manufacture some of the latter in an otherwise lacklustre show – although perhaps not in the way they intended.

Strictly speaking

Week 10 It was so much worse than we could ever have feared. Strictly’s foray into international waters made Eurovision look positively restrained, tasteful and nuanced. Around The World In 80 Cultural Appropriation Nightmares Week made a mockery of ballroom, logic, fairness and every single country that had the misfortune to be featured. Bury this […]

Strictly speaking

Post-Blackpool week is traditionally a Strictly slump, and there was malaise in the form of Frankie enduring Viennese, Steve wincing through jive and Mark visibly relieved to survive tango. However, we also had the majestic return of Jake’s hips, Pixie’s jazz hands and Simon’s prospects.

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